Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Hallmarks of a College Student

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

It's 'that' time again. Things are starting to get tough and exam/school-related stress is beginning to heap up. Without further ado, I introduce to you the hallmarks of a successful college procrastinator:

1) The value of a nap is contrary to popular belief, not measured by the amount of time you spent in REM sleep, rather the amount of textbook pages that your drool managed to seep through.

2) Friends or study buddies are for chumps. Everyone knows the social area of the library isn't where it's at. It's that deep dark quiet corner in the top-most floors that's the place to study. You hope that once you have annexed your seat, not a soul will walk onto your floor, and since it's about 6-7 flights of stairs up, nobody ever does.

3) F**k facebook. Why-o-why must you tempt me to spend meaningless hours scouring through random people's pages?

4) Nobody uses pens anymore for notes. We all use the pretty little Staedtler fine liners so we can color code our notes (neurotic anyone?)

5) Tim Horton's is for posers, we all know the best way to stay awake is a direct IV drip of caffeine (this one is a joke, please don't try this at home, you will probably kill yourself :P ).

6) The extra weight you gain from eating unhealthily during exams and forgetting to go to the gym isn't something to be ashamed of. It is a trophy and testament to your ability to sit in a library study for hours on end and eat McDonalds, microwave burritos, and drink coffee.

... Written exams are driving me nuts. I hate studying, I can't wait till clerkship!